How Do You Sleep?

“i sleep well, thank you for caring”

is what Sam’s System told me to say

knowing that our minds are wearing

my drive to become better is now a debilitating obsession

yet my mind yells “you cannot fall into recession”

but i don’t know if it knows that i agonize daily for its possession

a mirrored mask that i put on

an abiding ask that is a con

a Benevolent Bask that feels too far gone

every minute, every stanza—coherence and simplicity fall

it’s not in my hands, my mind says I have to stand tall

free of shackles, but These Walls

still close in, yet my enervated mind in free-fall

every step, every move, every action—doubted,

Sam’s System’s grip cripples my altruistic dreams—clouded,

every good deed or sliver of progress—shrouded

my mind tries to always find an underlying issue

then it starts screeching, always ending up needing some tissue

Kleenex or Band-Aid, whichever is new, the wound is predicated off of YOUR fabricated voodoo

YOUR deceitful magic has ravaged my already fragile dwell.

i crave YOUR warmth, but fear YOUR fire as i am stuck in this hell.

Philophobia haunts me, but i mustn’t quarrel or fess.

“Follow through, you’re here because of you”

yes, but that is not tied to my self-sacrificial limerence

i led with admitting that it feels like my mind is in overdrive

no rest though, we continually slave for Sam’s System, and from it, we will strive

yet consequentially while my sleep is plagued by restlessness and knives, my mind sees the cycle, but struggles to find ways to thrive.